What changed? From Procrastinator-in-Chief to Productivity Monster
The One Discovery That Ended 30 Years of Self-Sabotage
I'm a collector. And should I say I used to be? But not the kind you're thinking of. I did not collect stamps, coins, or vintage records. It is as embarrassing as it gets, but I am going to tell you, and you can judge me if you want.
{DEEP BREATH} … I collected book titles.
You read that right.
I collected titles of books yet unwritten. My own book titles, just so we are clear.
For the past 30 years, I've been hoarding them in my mind like precious treasures. Hundreds of them. Maybe thousands. Fiction titles that would make readers weep. Non-fiction concepts that could change lives. Memoirs that would inspire millions.
I had it all mapped out in my head. The characters. The plot lines. The chapter breakdowns. I could tell you the entire story from beginning to end for dozens of these books.
Some nights, I'd lie awake playing out entire scenes in my mind, crafting dialogue, building worlds that felt more real than my actual life. But here's the thing that tortured me: Not a single one of these books existed anywhere except in my imagination.
Zero. Zilch. Nothing.
For three decades, I was the world's most prolific author... of books that were never written. And this situation was eating me alive.
I told myself it was because I lacked discipline. That I didn't have the courage. That I was missing some magical willpower gene that "real writers" possessed.
Maybe I didn't have the skills. Maybe I didn't have the energy. Maybe I just wasn't meant to be a writer. The excuses were endless. And each one felt so reasonable, so logical, so... true.
But the frustration? It was unbearable. I would start writing, only to tear the paper and throw it away, in anger, because “it sounded too cliché”, or “who would read this”!
Do you know what it feels like to carry around dozens of complete stories in your head and never be able to birth them into the world?
It's like being pregnant with ideas that never get to see daylight.
It's like having a song stuck in your head that you can never sing out loud.
It's like holding your breath for 30 years.
I was resentful. Angry. Disappointed in myself on a level that went bone-deep.
I'd see other people's books in bookstores and think, "I could have written something better than that." But there I was, empty-handed, with nothing but a head full of unrealized dreams. And to be honest, so full of myself.
I was the Procrastinator-in-Chief of my own life. Until five years ago.
Five years ago, everything changed.
Not because I suddenly found discipline or courage or willpower. But because I discovered something that nobody had ever told me about procrastination.
Something that explained why I could spend hours crafting perfect stories in my mind but couldn't write a single acceptable paragraph on paper.
Something that revealed why my brain would shut down the moment I opened a blank document.
Something that showed me exactly what was happening in the hidden corners of my subconscious every time I tried to pursue something meaningful.
There was a reason I'd been sabotaging myself for three decades. A very compelling, very specific reason. And once I understood what it was, everything shifted.
Since that discovery, I've written seven books. Seven actual, published, real-world books. From zero books in 30 years to seven books in five years.
I went from Procrastinator-in-Chief to what my friends now call a "Productivity Monster."
I get so absorbed in my writing that I'll look up and realize it's 3 AM. I have to force myself to take breaks because when I want to do something now, I actually do it.
Can you imagine that transformation?
From someone who couldn't write a single page to someone who has to practice self-care because they work too much?
That's the power of understanding what's really behind procrastination. And here's what I want you to know: It's not what you think it is.
It's not laziness. It's not lack of willpower. It's not because you're weak or destined to fail.
There's something else happening. Something hidden in plain sight. Something that runs like malware in the background of your mind, sabotaging every attempt you make to move forward.
And once you see it, you can't unsee it. Once you understand it, you can finally do something about it. Now, explaining this discovery would take a long time. Longer than a blog post or newsletter could contain.
But I've created something for you.
A free audio course called "Manifestation Malware" that will walk you through exactly what I discovered and how it changed everything.
It's 45 minutes that could spare you 30 years of wondering "What's wrong with me?"
45 minutes that could end the internal war between the part of you that wants to succeed and the part that keeps ghosting your goals.
45 minutes that could transform you from someone who dreams to someone who creates.
I won't ask you to pay anything for it. I just want you to experience the same breakthrough that changed my life.
Because your book titles - your dreams, your goals, your unrealized potential - they deserve to exist in the real world, not just in your imagination.
You deserve to become the Productivity Monster you were meant to be. If you choose so. You deserve to stop collecting dreams and start creating reality.
The question is: Are you ready to discover what's really been holding you back all these years?
Your future self - the one who finally follows through, who finally creates, who finally becomes everything you know you can be - is not going to wait forever.
But, please, don't make them wait another 30 years.